Spiritual confusion and need some advice?

Recently for no particular reason ( excuse my spelling im not a wrighter) i have changed. I was racist hatfull angry and emotionally blocked. Im 25 male married for 4 years two sons one with autism. I lost the anger that i have for no reason. i no longer hate like i did i can admit to my feelings and race doesnt bother me. i have this higher sense of being but still feel misplaced. i got laid off but have found work since so i cant atribute it to that. i was in the infantry,witch tought me to hide emotion. im not a good person i've lied cheated stolen destroyed, but i have also lost given things i truely could not afored to give. emotionly and financialy. so what the f is going on with me. i do sometimes fallback into my old self if only for a molment,quickly i relize my fault and feel almost dirty. ive lost most of my sexual desire and become more emotionaly aware of how i view my wife. sorry if this post seem chaotic. thats how my mind has always been. any ideas on whats going on?Spiritual confusion and need some advice?
In the name of God, the Compassionate, the Merciful.


All praise be to God, Lord of the Universe; the Compassionate, the Merciful, Sovereign of the Day of Judgment! You alone we worship; and to You alone we turn for help. Guide us to the straight path; the path of those whom You have favored; not of those who have earned Your wrath, nor of those who have gone astray.


Amen.








Islam is not a new religion but the final culmination and fulfillment of the same basic truth that God revealed through all His prophets to every people. A way of life symbolized by peace - peace with God, peace within oneself, and peace with the creations of God through submission to God and commitment to His guidance.Spiritual confusion and need some advice?
Can't be certain whats going on but I do know that truth is the best medicine.





Check out this link





http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PWEeHx__-鈥?/a>








Check out other videos from this guy and dive deeper into truth itself, you'll be pleased.
http://www.mormon.org/mormonorg/eng/basic-beliefs/members-stories/members-stories
You are realizing the Truth. Not as any one particular Truth but all Truths. Good for you.
I guess it might have something to do with becoming a dad or a parent maybe softened ur heart, and the fact that one of the boys has autism maybe taught u to accept people as Good created them all.


u must be good in heart ,and this is why God sent u this precious gift ( your son )


. I also have an idea about when a son is having a problem,had one of my own, who's resting in heaven along with his older sister..


the experience made me feel that life is worth s*** , or even less than that, i'm much more tolerant especially with my other 2 daughters,


i don't have any strong emotions towards any thing or any one except my family.. u used to feel that u had control, but know u feel helpless..


it 'll get better, maybe not soon, but it's a test from God..


'; wa basher alsaberin, allazin eza asabathom mosiba , 2alo ena lellah wa ena ilayh raje3on.';
Yeah. You're going through a transformation. You're only partway through it, but it looks like it's going in a good direction. Don't worry about the loss of sexual desire, it will return.





Try not to worry about it or block it, just let it do what it's doing, and you'll come out the other side just fine. Be calm, and realise that you're growing and maturing in many ways right now.





This isn't the only time this will happen in your life, many people go through three or four of these (or more) by the time they are old and die.
well, you have a son with autism...that kinda shakes you up. Its not something you have any control over...you realize things just plain happen. Well, black people just happen as well. They all just trying to survive, like you, your children, your wife...and once you realize most people have that in common - that we struggle - you become more compassionate....which makes it hard to see people for thier skin color, or lust women as much, etc.





Some people would call that growing up...emotionally, and spiritually.


Hope that makes sense. I'm on my way to bed....its been a very hard time for me as well.





Good Luck along the path