Hello. My father has cancer as has been given four months to live. He has been at home, but has now been admitted to hospital.
Before he was admitted, we made a father and son agreement, as he did with his father. Should he get too ill, I will finish it for him. My grandfather died of a brain tumour, and it was a horrible, drawn-out affair. Unfortunately, my father never got enough time alone with him.
I am quite prepared to do this. He is my father, and raised me into an honest young man even though he was ill for much of his life. He worked hard as a baker for forty years, and has a loving wife and son.
I am aware what I am going to have to do one day is illegal and may be wrong in the eyes of any higher power. But he is my father, and I will keep my word. I am just curious as to what may become of me, but I am not doubtful of my duty.
Will I be tried for murder, like someone who kills a stranger in cold blood? Or will I be granted some form of mitigation?
Any serious help welcome. Thank you. My father has finally been admitted to hospital with his cancer- I need legal and spiritual advice please?
As rogue wyndwalker has said a DNR order (do not resuscitate) is important to have, it is also important to talk to the staff at the hospital. If you're father is still able to lucidly communicate with staff he can ask for only pain relief and have no further active treatment. Talking to the staff about the situation is important.
Legally if you do something to actively shorten your father's life there will be ramifications.
Spiritually, you are in a difficult position and partly I think you're fathers guilt over being unable to relieve his fathers pain is driving you a little here as well. If you speak to staff and do all you can to ensure he is comfortable and without pain you need not berate yourself.
I can not make any decisions for you but i do suggest you talk to the staff they will understand and it will be something they have encountered before.
If you did as your father asked and you were put through the legal system how will that affect your mother and both of your grieving processes.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.My father has finally been admitted to hospital with his cancer- I need legal and spiritual advice please?
I don't think you should do it. There is a difference between assisted suicide and making the decision to not have machines sustain life. Also, would that promise be worth your soul? If you did that you might not be able to gain full forgiveness from God and he is The Father. if you have a wife and children of your own how will you support them if you end up in jail?
You should never kill your father. No matter how well meant it may seem at the time, taking a mans life is never the right thing to do. My mom died of cancer, and I know its hard. But she died happy, knowing Jesus and you should leave your dad enough time to do this. Please trust me on this.
Suicide assistance is murder and you will be tried accordingly.
There are other options. Make sure he has a living will so that its very clear what his wishes are and he can always refuse medical treatment, other than pain relievers.
You will be one of the beneficiaries of his estate. Perfect motive for murder, as well. Let nature take its course.
Call a lawyer. They'll give you some free advice over the phone and it would be much more accurate. It'll only take a few minutes to resolve the question.
Don't listen to everyone going on about God, not sure what that has to do with it.
I understand that you must feel for your father and want him to suffer as little as possible. I can only give my sincerest condolences regarding his illness. However, assisted suicide is illegal, as I'm sure you're aware, apparently a bill to legalise it was voted against this year.
A quote from the Independent:
';Helping someone to commit suicide is a criminal offence, punishable with a maximum 14-year jail sentence.”
Surely your father does not want you to spend years in prison? I encourage you to find other ways to help your father, by trying to make him as comfortable as possible and spending as much time as you can with him in the months before his death.
Well I would recommend that your father sign what's called a Do Not Resucitate order, also known as a DNR. This will prevent the medical staff from trying to bring him back if his heart should suddenly fail or anything of the like. If he hasn't already, your father should meet with an attorney who can help him write his Last Will and Testament and include a clause regarding him not wanting to be on a ventilator or life support machine to prolong his life. (I'm sure we all remember the fiasco with this that was in the mass media a few years back.) I can't tell you how assisted suicide a la Dr. Kevorkian will be handle in court, the above steps will prevent his life from otherwise being excessively prolonged.
The answer lies within your own heart. The bible says to honour your father and mother but also says that we must not kill. I am so sorry that you are in such a dilemma and the fact that you have to ask here says that you don't want to do this, it was quite unfair of your father to put this on you even though he is showing his trust in you to fulfil his wish. You will, depending on the country that you are in, be cited for murder because of the laws of the land. Some people have been granted mercy by the courts but I would not depend on it as others have been convicted. The best place for your father is in a hospice, not an NHS hospital. The specialist nurses and doctors in these wonderful places will not allow your father to suffer and they will make his transition as peaceful and pain free as possible, with the utmost dignity. I pray for you during this most distressful of times and ask you to pray for guidance and wisdom.
Your father wouldn't want you to sacrifice yourself or your future to save him suffering after all he went through to bring you into the world. I realize that this is an emotional time for both of you but you both need to step back and think with your heads.
The first thing I would do is communicate to his doctor how important it is to both of you that he not suffer. Have him do a simple living will so the doctors know ';no heroics'; as they say to prolong his life.
Then focus on enjoying the time you have left. No one can tell him how long he has. I know someone who was 'given' 6 months 12 years ago and is still doing find, and I know someone else who was told a year or so and didn't last the week.
Good luck, and remember to think with your head as well as your heart.
Hello Dear Rover
I understand your situation.
I once saw a court case of a woman who had her husband dying of a horrifying disease , slowly and painfully, she took care of him till his death. She had 4 kids, and since that disease was hereditary her 3 kids got it too, she took care of them for 14 years, they BEGGED her to end their lives, they could not stand to be in so much pain anymore.
Out of love for their kids, knowing that the law would put her in jail, she ended their suffering.
She was put in jail, there was a major protest against it because of the circumstances. She spent some months in jail but then she was allowed to go home.
I am just letting you know what happened in that case.
I AM TRULY SORRY ABOUT YOUR FATHER.
I would not know what to do myself if put in those type of circumstances.
Best wishes.
edit: as others have said here, call a lawyer.
Personally, I think it is unfair and unreasonable for anyone to ask another person to end their life for them, or ask them to make such a promise. If your father chooses to do so himself, that is HIS option, but not reasonable to expect you to do his dirty work and live with the many possible consequences.
However, you can and should get legal help to help your father draw up a living will while he is still of sound mind. There should be folks at the hospital who can direct you who to talk to about that matter if you don't have a family lawyer.
I respect a person's right to decide they are done with life, but no one has the right to ask a loved one to kill them. Don't feel bound to that pact, and please never burden a loved one of your own with such.
The hospital should also be able to provide a list of therapists and support groups to help you with the many aspects of dealing with the loss of a loved one...legal, financial, emotional, spiritual, etc.
No one has the right to take a life except God. I will pray for you and your father.
You will be throwing your life away. You have to trust the Higher Power. There is someone close to me with brain cancer, she had a spasim and was taken to the Hsp, her right side was paralyzed she has steadily improved. Now shew is back home after the surgery removed the mass except for the tentacles. Her father died from it.
You have realize that God is in charge, overmasters everything, and it is probably better to let him go to the other side.
Here is what will happen, He will go through a tunnel of light, he will be greeted by family and friends who have proceeded him. There he will rest from the cares and sorrows of this world. You will be changing the whole outcome. Please do not do it, Please, you do not know the whole picture here.
Hello, Rver:
God did not honor Herod´s oath to kill John the Baptist, nor will He honor your commitment.
You will recall that Herod asked Jesus to prove Himself: ¨Jesus answered him nothing¨and He wants you to protect and comfort your father.
I worked in a hospital as a R.N., and had many cancer patients. They now have i.v. pumps that meter analgesics on a continuous basis and have a hand pum so the patient can give his a little extra when needed.
Don´t do it! It is murder, and we live in different times. May God help you both through these difficult times.
Shalom, peace in Jesus, Ben Yeshua
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