Thursday, December 31, 2009

Need some spiritual advice on how to stop having a sexual relationship with my boyfriend..??

I am in a sexual relationship with my current boyfriend of 8 months, but I truly want to stop giving this man my body... I am a religious person, and having sex with him makes me feel very weak mentally... I am having an extremely hard time with this, and yes I have prayed about it...


I fell really strong one minute, but because I am love with him, it's a daily struggle...I do want to continue having a platonic relationship with him though...


I have talked to him about getting married, but he is 10 years younger, and not ready... I know that he would continue to date me without sex, but he said it would be hard for him.


how should I deal with this situation..??Need some spiritual advice on how to stop having a sexual relationship with my boyfriend..??
I had a similar struggle with a girl I dated. We crossed the line, I tried to redraw it, she seemed to connect sex with my commitment and didn't want to stop.





I told her we needed to develop other aspects of our relationship and that our relationship would be stronger for honoring God and His ways. The Bible is crystal clear about this. I apologized for my part in the situation and told her what my new physical limits would be.





Honestly, it strained our relationship. She read it as my move towards the exit. And funny how as friends, we just didn't have much to talk about or really have in common. Once the allure of sex left the relationship, there we were, two people very attracted to each other but not much else. God seemed to bless me with discernment after that and wow, did we live on different planets.





God loves you and forgives you. I hope you find that as you re-establish the line, he honors that. It will tell you everything you need to know about this boy. But honoring God is the right answer. In my case, it saved me from a marriage that would have been quite thin in reality, unhappy at best.Need some spiritual advice on how to stop having a sexual relationship with my boyfriend..??
Quit being a religious person and ask God to forgive you of your sins and ask Jesus to save you. The bible says people who do as you are doing will have no part in eternal life in heaven. He gives you the choice. This is called a relationship
Its HARD. You need resolve and more will power than ever.


If he loves you, as you believe he does then he will stand by you through this. and NOT temp you. ( he has to respect that)


Pray and not alone. Attend church get a support system if you dont already, get him in on it too.


It will make it harder if he does not take part in this. ask others to pray for both of you. I will... i remember how hard it was for me.
You're in the wrong section, actually.





And unless he's abusive, my only advice is make up your own mind.
Sounds like you two are at different places in life. You're ready to get married and he's not. Love gives you a wedding ring. Lust gives you a condem. Are you 100% sure he is the right one for you?
Please don't take this the wrong way but your screen name ';sexygemi..'; doesn't really make a good impression.





but besides that, I guess my only advice, since I've been down that road too, is to have serious talk with him and try to avoid being alone. hang out in groups. also if there is someone you trust, like a mentor, you could tell that person and be accountable to him/her. it really helps when someone who is stronger spiritually is checking on you and praying for you. Also when sin is out in the open (a third party knowing) you are more aware and will try harder to stop. more importantly continue to pray. Sometimes, when the flesh has taken over so much that it is hard to stop, God is the only one who can intercede. So keep praying. God Bless
Much has been written about this subject, mostly in novels. You probably will not be able to stop having sex with him, unless you break off the relationship entirely.The sex drive is so powerfull.
Sweetheart, I answered almost this same question for you a month ago and was chosen as your Best Answer. I am so sad you did not take a lot of the good advice that was given to you then.





The advice is still the same. Ultimately, prayer will help, but you must also get out of the situation.





I Corinthians 6:18-20 says: ';Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.';





You obviously know what you are doing is wrong because you have asked this question before. The way to stop having sex with your boyfriend is to get away from him. Break up with him and stay far, far away. Notice the verses above say ';flee';. Not ';hang around it and try to be strong';, but ';flee';.





He does not love you the way a godly man should if he is using you this way. And you do not love him the way a godly woman should if you allow yourself to be used and continue to use him as well.





Be strong in the Lord. Get away from your boyfriend. Get involved in a Bible teaching church and seek counseling. God can restore you to right living again, but you must show that that is what you truly desire instead of continuing to wallow in sin.





I pray you will do what is right in God's sight. He only desires the best for you, and gave us rules like ';no sex outside of marriage'; for our own good.
My spiritual advice is convert to a non-dumb religion.





I mean come on, you are both adults in a committed, serious relationship, and you feel guilty about having sex! That's crazy!
Buy him a blow up doll and make it up to look like you. Oh, what the hell, might as well get one for yourself too and make it up to look like him.
Just make your mind over and stick to it.


Yeah... easier said than done lol


Avoid places or situations that will lead to temptation.





To share a story:


I was separated from my hubby for several months.... a man I met had been separated from his wife for several years. We got together and moved in together after a couple of weeks. That was in the summer of 1998.


VERY long story short... I wanted to make spiritual progress and was told I couldn't be baptized as long as the guy and I were living together ';in sin';. That was in March 2001.


So he and I separated. Both of us obtained divorces from our first spouses and in October I was baptized and in November he and I were married.





It wasn't easy. We had been living together as husband and wife for what- 2 1/2 years or so... But with LOTS of prayers and the congregation we made it through.





So can you!
Having sex with someone does release chemicals that makes it hard to stay focussed. Be real. Sex is natural and normal for two people who love each other. What you suggest is not normal or natural. I know it's probably something to do with your choosen faith. Good luck. I think your relationship wont last another 4 months if you both stop.
Well, the genie is out of the bottle now. It would be extremely difficult to go back to a platonic relationship now that you've been intimate. Most guys don't deal well with that.





If you really do love him, as you say you do, my advice is to stop worrying about the religious part. Seriously. There's nothing wrong with what you're doing. When he's ready for marriage, you'll feel better about everything. Until then, just try to relax and enjoy the intimacy you already share. If that's not a feasible option, it may be time to reconsider the entire relationship, unfortunately.
He will do or say anything to get sex.
What you're feeling is conviction. You know you are sinning and you know it is wrong. But the devil is always right there reminding you of how good it feels. ';Go ahead, everyone is doing it - you deserve this!'; And so forth. I understand what you are going through as this is my weakest point also, the pathway the enemy uses most often to get after me. You will get stronger in time, but it takes repeated effort. If you fail, don't throw in the towel. Repent and get back with the program.





By the way, your boyfriend says it would be hard to continue dating you without sex? Is he really saying he values your sex more than your relationship, and without the sex, there is probably no relationship? I assume from this that he is likely not a Christian. This is the most difficult relationship to keep together and to keep right before God - a non Christian. One of you will adopt the other's approach. He will be saved and see things your way, or you will leave the faith and accept sin as a lifestyle.





God rewards that seek after Him. Do what is right and be rewarded.
If you were such a religious person, you wouldn't have had sex out of wedlocks in the first place, ';sexygemini';.


';Spiritual advice';???? Lol. Keep your clothes on.





By the way, ';SEXYgemini';, here's the definition of SEXY:


1) Marked by or tending to arouse sexual desire or interest.


2) Exciting sexual desire.





Oh and, astrology is condemned by Christianity, ';sexyGEMINI.';
This type of sin is called ';form of habit';, your human and full of fault like everyone else.





Pray to the Lord for the grace to step beyond this sin, in the mean time attend confession on a regular basis (weekly).


Make sure to mention to the priest (form of habit).





The latter is not an excuse, it is simply the truth.





God bless'
Keep your pants on.
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